Why don’t we notice little things until after the moment has long past???
I mean I would rather love to bask in the glow while its happening instead of always doing it in conversations…lol
Thursday I took my kids school shopping before the fiasco of non acceptance 2017 took place yesterday (thats another story for another time 😉 )
My thinking never crossed to how school shopping for my kids use to be in the past… to me it was a routine day of picking up this, going there to drop this off… you know the list of to dos to complete but to my kids it had to feel AMAZING!!!!
Every year until this year they would experience this scenario Diary……
“Grab something they wanted beyond measure to only get crushed with no how about this one its cheaper 😦 As a mom at the time it felt more like survival for me instead of crushing a child’s heartfelt wants and granted I never thought about it like that until TODAY.”
Thursday I got to see my kids go through the aisles and pick what they wanted for school supplies and backpacks 🙂 Not once did I have to say Hey what about this one unless it was to help a sista out with color matching..lol… making it a TOTALLY fun event for all of us instead of the dreaded, angry shopping that always took place 🙂
Sometimes I have to pinch myself in AMAZEMENT on how things are being set in motion for me and my family … lol
Diary I am doing it…. I am changing everything negative one day at a time…. I am CREATING my dream life!!!!
Yesterday a good friend/fellow coach pointed out how I have been more focused on how I feel body wise than looking healthy. And for a brief moment the statement twisted something inside me but I quickly hid it by discussing something else further… you know how we are as women… we divert the conversation when SHIT gets a little too real. Not even realizing I was doing this we got into another discussion but that statement lingered and my subconscious knew I would want to investigate it later on.
And wouldn’t you know it Diary it came right back up in my head this morning during my meditation 🙂 The perfect chance to just sit and listen to what you have to tell yourself…so to speak 😉
Why had I stopped focusing on my outside???
I now know why I rushed my friends statement under the rug bc I was uncomfortable with REALLY looking at why I stopped focusing on my outside. I wish I could say it was from me not being petty but no….. the truth is for too long I have been focused on how I feel bc of my fibromyalgia. Questions that use to never come up now plague my days…..How does your body feel after eating, How much pain throughout the day did you have and What stressful body wise activities have you done today 😦
Instead of allowing my condition to help me it has become MY stopping point 😦
Talk about a low blow to my psyche this morning.
Spending some time in front of my mirror seeing for the first time with new eyes what my body really looks like was met with tears, wows, and you look beautiful girl.
For the first time in months I didnt wake up asking how I felt either…that SHIT is stopping too 😉
I am gonna wake up, breathe in this wonderful life and know that I am gonna make a difference today 🙂
I define me not the other way around!!!!! Its time I start living that way 🙂